Botswana Soul Writers: 2012

THE WAY I CHOSE TO LOVE YOU…

A slow breeze kept on caressing her honey coloured skin modestly as the moon was slowly emerging from under the clouds. Her clothes were completely wet because it had been raining earlier on, the rain drops had hit her body hard but she remained resolute and marched on to the rail track. It was not like she minded that her clothes were drenched with water, her heart was drenched with misery so she cared less about her physical state. At twenty she was slightly tall and curvy, her eyes were dark and fluid. She was pacing through the bush heading for the exit to her problems. She has had enough of everything, she was all alone and her heart was in tatters.

Unknown to her someone was slowly following her from a distance. He was somebody she loved very much, he was the reason why her heart was breaking. She loved him more than anything, she could do anything for him, anything! She had finally realised that the feeling was not mutual. They had grown apart since he left the village for the city where he was studying in varsity. He had passed his secondary school exams but as misfortune had it she failed to pass narrowly. City life had gotten into his head and made him forget her. First she was told the unconfirmed rumours about his ways by her pals. The rumours started trickling in when she finished re-writing her examinations. She thought the purveyors of the rumours were just jealous bitter people. Then one day one city kind of girl called her and told her to stay away from him, whilst still rueing her misfortune he broke the news to her. He told her that their love affair was over, he cited a lame and concocted reason, the ‘Its not you its me’ kind of lie. She tried to reason with him but he stood his ground. ‘What part of its over do you do you understand?’ He would ask arrogantly breaking her heart. He had transformed into a monster. His smiles were all gone. His jokes were all gone what remained were barbs which were piercing her heart like a sword. But she still loved him and she was ready to do anything to make it work after two years of bliss. Eventually reality began to sink in. he didn’t want her! She just couldn’t live without him, he was the centre of his universe, he was the reason why she was living after her parents died tragically lately, so she decided to take her last journey after talking to him for the last time…

Though it had rained earlier on the sky was getting clear, the stars and the moon were spread across the sky cursing darkness. She immediately started running faster towards the rail tracks the moment she heard a train honking from afar. Ten minutes later she was on the rail-tracks waiting patiently for the train to grant her, her long sought reprieve from all the earthly disappointments. As the train was approaching her she closed her eyes and got ready to be one of the grim reaper‘s finest harvest. From a distance she heard someone call her name loudly. She immediately recognised the voice, it was his voice, with all her might she tried to get away from the railway line but the train was a metre away from her, she was too little too late but a little bit fortunate. The train didn’t run over her, it hit her on the head and she fell on the grass near the rail track, the blow was not severe because the train was not in full speed. She lost consciousness for a while before she regained it and found herself on his arms. She was bleeding on the head, it was unclear where she was bleeding since she had long hair…

‘I am so sorry for what I did to you. I love you, I want to be with you.’ He said quickly.

‘Why did you leave me?’ She asked in a faint voice.

‘I was stupid. Please forgive me.’

‘Its too late, I am dying.’ She said feebly

‘Please don’t say that. You are not going to die.’

‘I can feel my life slipping out of my body. I loved the moments when you told me that you love me. The times we spent together and the memories we shared. I loved our emotional connection and the fact that you were the only one I could rely on and talk to. You were the only one who believed in me when everybody else doubted my abilities. You were my lover and my best friend…’ She said smiling vaguely…

‘I love you for being there for me all the time, sometimes I felt that I didn’t deserve your love. I was so stupid.’ Before he could continue she grabbed his hand so hard.

‘Let me talk.’ She said slowly. ‘It was my choice to love you this way, I could have loved another young man but I chose to love you. I knew you were eventually going to hurt you but I chose to love you nonetheless. I hope you will always remember that. I know about Resego, she called me and told me to stay away from you.’ Her voice then got faint… ‘I chose to love you this way…’ She said before she ceased breathing and closed her eyes. He immediately realised what had happened. He shook her gently calling her name but he got no answer. He knew what he had done to her… Floods of tears began streaking out of his eyes slowly. Her last words kept on ringing in his mind.

I chose to love you this way…

Adapted from The Cruxifiction of Conscience novel (Still Shelved) ©Phidson Mojokeri 2011

I WISH THEY KNEW HOW SPECIAL THEY ARE… (PART 2)

by Phidson Mojokeri on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 2:26pm ·

There also used this other special girl I used to know, seventeen years she was. She had an innocent smile, innocent face and even innocent eyes. She came from a poor background, she shared a one roomed house with her grandmother and her five younger siblings. Her mother left the village years when she was still three to look for a job in the city but she always brought more children home than money. She vowed that she would never be like her mother, so she worked extra hard at school and marks came her way. She got a lot of respect from teachers and fellow students alike. She chose not to engage in any activities that would increase the population of the already struggling family. Things changed when a particular old vulture befriended her family. With his gifts he stole the grandmother‘s sanity (She stopped being overprotective of her granddaughter) and wormed his way into the granddaughter‘s life. She tried to resist him but with his smooth tongue he outsmarted her into becoming his own mistress. He told her the absolute lie (I will leave my wife for you), brainwashed as she was, she foolishly believed him. What followed was her freefall from grace as the vulture drove her crazy. Her grandmother was happy that they had found a cash cow in the vulture. Her granddaughter took to absconding from school to spend time with the ever hungry vulture. Eventually examination time came, we are talking BGCSE here, examinations which determine what one becomes in life. She tried to put more effort in passing but BGCSE could not be undone especially since she had taken to moonlight in school and investing more of her time on her vulture. BGCSE exams bullied her to submission and she ended up getting less than 30 points in all nine subjects that she wrote. As she was reeling from the shock she discovered that she was pregnant. She quickly ran to her vulture to seek comfort but he broke her heart, he told her that there was no way she was going to leave his loyal wife for her. He opted to instead pay for child maintenance! The saving grace was that a visit to Tebelopele Voluntary Testing Centre didn’t yield the results she feared. Her wishes to go to varsity remained wishes, every time during University vacations she took to avoiding her peers, most of whom she was intellectually superior to prior the moment the smiling vulture visited her poor family looking for a carrion to feast upon. At the end she settled for the life of village and found a job in the local supermarket earning close to nothing. Her dreams of owning her own car, house and nice clothes remained dreams. Since her life was screwed up by men she took to men bashing and hating. Her favourite expression was all men are dogs. Are they? The vulture in the meantime was having a way with another poor carrion, he had a lot of money so he could do whatever the hell he wanted! (Part 3 in a few minutes)

I WISH THEY KNEW HOW SPECIAL THEY ARE… (PART 1)

by Phidson Mojokeri on Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 6:19pm ·

There is this other special girl I used to know. She had the beauty of an angel, a calm demeanour and though not the sharpest nail in the bucket she worked hard in school, so she eventually made it to varsity after disposing of her high school examinations. In varsity she struggled to fit in because she was not from a very well off background (Not necessarily poor) and she hanged with the wrong crowd. She didn’t have the fancy clothes, expensive phone, and, even style (Swagger as they call it). In her efforts to fit in she landed herself into the path of a hungry vulture aged the same as her father, a Sugar Daddy (As if there is something sweet about them) and her fool‘s fairytale began. She got more money from her vulture and recognition from some of her peers. The money got into her head and made her delusional. She began to view her male peers as little boys, and elderly rich men as the best. She began to brag to some of her friends about her vulture, some found it funny but others recoiled in disgust and cut their ties with her. She was on top of the world enjoying the money, the fake affection and the recognition from her false friends. The wife of the vulture warned her severally to stay away from her vulture but she decided to play deaf. Everyone who tried to advise her to stop her evil ways ended up getting verbal hell, her favourite phrases were ‘It’s my life’ and ‘It’s my body’, surely she had lost her demeanour and purpose in life. As luck would have it she completed varsity and found herself a future hubby who was her peer, he was the best thing ever to happen to her. Now that she had her future looked bright she planned to get rid of her vulture but she was way too late! The wife of the vulture dragged her to court for wrecking her marriage earning her a slot on the front page of The Voice newspaper which was pretty much a batch of shame. Her future hubby bailed out swiftly, the vulture also left her and headed for another pretty young thing. A visit to Tebelopele Voluntary Testing Centre piled more misery on her. Her reputation was in tatters, the best thing that ever happened to her was gone and everything was not the way she had planned… (PART 2 Before Sunday)

Khonani Ontebetse

Khonani Ontebetse was born in Zoroga, Botswana in 1978. He was educated at Masunga Senior Secondary School and Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University (NMMU). After receiving a Bachelor of Arts degree in Media Communication and Culture at NMMU in 2005, Khonani worked as a journalist for The Ngami Times newspaper and later The Mirror newspaper. He joined The Botswana Gazette in 2008 as senior reporter and currently is Deputy Editor for the Weekend Post newspaper.

In 2004, when the then Port Elizabeth University and Port Elizabeth Technikon merged to form the NMMU, Khonani was among the four students from the two institutions to win a literary competition with his essay entitled- “How I will remember The University of Port Elizabeth.” That was the turning point in his career as an ambitious writer.

In 2008, he won the first Bessie Head Literature Awards, a locally-run literary competition in Botswana for his novel titled Born with a Husband (Pentagon Publishers) Bessie Head Literature Awards. The awards are held annually in honour of one Africa’s acclaimed writers, the late Bessie Head. Born with a Husband discusses arranged marriages in relation to HIV/AIDS. His second historical novel, The Trial of The Gods which was published in 2011 by Canadian based publishers, Nsemia publishers explores the forced removal of the Basarwa (the San) by the Botswana Government from the Central Kalahari Game Reserve (CKGR). His intriguing third novel which was inspired by the tragic murder of a form two student, Segametsi Mogomotsi in 1994 is still being assessed for publication. The book is expected to be the writer’s most controversial work ever, according to preliminary reviews and is expected to usher in the author into the international writing scene. Khonani’s other works are short stories and plays which are yet to be published.